Things Are Different Now

I didn’t plan to take such a long pause.

(I’m not sure it even counts as a pause, given that I’d written… two? three?... whole posts before disappearing for months. But that’s not a question I care to think about too much. We are back on the horse, and that’s the important bit.)

It was a wild summer. Things changed, and then kept changing. The opportunity I had cryptically written about back in May materialized into a very real job offer, which I accepted, and which meant relocating to another city. I spent the hottest months of the year buried in moving boxes and trying to find housing in a place where finding housing is so difficult it makes news headlines on a regular basis.

Also, my dad and I spent 2 weeks in New York. And I got Covid. And I bought a car. It was a lot. 

I’m not exactly settled in this new version of my life, but I’m figuring it out, and I’m glad to be here. I’ve been living in Calgary for two months, and my boxes are 80% unpacked, which is not bad if you’re me. I’ve mastered the driving route from home to work, and am working on outsmarting the traffic. My dog and I have two favourite parks, and we visit them as often as we can. 

I am very tired. I like my job a lot, and also it’s hard to be starting over somewhere new. I’m still trying to cobble together an MFA. When I’m not working, I’m thinking about work, and also sometimes drawing, and very often walking with Jill through some unspeakably beautiful hills. Somehow things are both very quiet and also wildly overwhelming. Often, from moment to moment, it all feels terrifying, but underneath that it feels good to be amid so much newness. I think I was ready for a change like this.

I’m not sure what I have to say, right now, beyond this. I’m not sure when I last had a respectably insightful or creative thought. Mostly, for the past five months, my brain has just been going aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and I’m not sure when it’s going to stop. 

In the meantime, here is a little diary comic about going to the park with Jill, which is basically my only hobby, and has become ritual that has been very good for both of us:

I’ll be back again soon.

♥